One learns a lot about sacrifice when they have children. I do not have children of my own but I was a live-in-nanny in Washington for over a year. I should have started blogging during that time. The two little girls that I cared for gave me plenty of material! Things like pink tooth paste on the toilet seat and drawings on my car windows when it was foggy were normal parts of my life. Or being stalked! I would take a shower and as soon as I turned off the water, they would knock on the door assuming that I was ready for them. “Wait! Let me actually get out of the shower and put on my robe!!” Space was something I came to value (if I didn’t before, I definitely do now!). When you give up your life for someone else, that is a sacrifice. As a nanny, living in their home, my schedule worked around theirs. It was a sacrifice. It came with joy and sorrow. Sometimes the sacrifices we make in life are painful but in this case I made sacrifices out of love for those girls.
The hard sacrifice came when I decided to move back to Nevada. My dad was going through more cancer treatment than was expected. My twin sister was losing platelets rapidly and the doctors couldn’t figure out way. On top of that my sister got engaged! That was a bright spot in all of this. I could not be away any longer. It was extremely hard to be away and be able to fully be a support to them. I loved my life in Washington, my job, the girls, and of course the trees, waterfalls, and the seemingly endless places to hike. But my family needed me home.
The health of my family has improved some since I have been back these last 5 months. However, dad now needs to have rotator cuff surgery. This will take place the week after my sister’s wedding! Aside from that, right now life is all about the wedding. As my sister counts down the days to her wedding, I count down the days to the end of my life or at least that is how it feels. I get to move again when she gets married. When I moved back, I moved in with her. However, when she gets married her husband moves in. Heaven knows that I don’t want to live with the two of them! So, she gets the house and the husband and I’m moving in with mom and dad. The universe doesn’t make sense! This seems to be a season of constant transitions that I am struggling to keep up with.
Sacrifice can be very hard. Moving back to Nevada was hard. Preparing to move in with my parents feels even harder. I made these sacrifices because it what was right not because it was easy. I have grief over these transitions but not regret. They are producing growth in my life. As things change around me, I’m changing too. I’m growing into more of the “Alina” that God wants me to be. That is my prayer!