This Feels Like a Divorce

As I am preparing to move out of my place that I have shared with my sister for the last seven years (minus the year I spent in Washington), it feels like her and I are getting a divorce. Our relationship is one of deep closeness and shared experiences, starting from the day we were born (actually, starting from before we born)! We shared the womb together. She and I probably kicked each other while we were in there. Having a twin is like having a built-in-buddy. You experience all the “firsts” together, first day of school, learning to drive, graduation and many more. Now, my built-in-buddy is getting a hubby!

There is something very important that her soon to be husband needs to know. Sister Day!! This is a very important day that takes place more than once in a year’s time. When we were kids we often would decide that it was “Sister Day” and not let our brother play with us. Naturally he couldn’t, he is a brother and it was sister day! He would tell mom that we wouldn’t let him play with us. In our defense, we would tell mom that he can’t because it’s Sister Day. So, even though she will be married Sister Day must still be observed. I’m thinking 300 days out of the year should be set aside just for that.

My built-in-buddy and I will always be sisters but there is a change in our relationship that is taking place. She is getting a new buddy called a hubby. They will get to share the rest of their lives and experience many “first” together. I do not like the way these changes feel. It feels like my life is ending. I know that is not true. I did not realize how hard her getting married was going to be on me. Our relationship looks different these days as someone else has taken a very special roll in her life. I’m happy for her but at the same time it is hard. I love her!

My word for this season is “adjusting”. I constantly have to adjust to the many changes that are taking place but that’s so true in many areas of life. I have faith that God sees me and knows where I am at. The way my life looks today is not how it will always look. There is a plan! This is just part of it.

11 thoughts on “This Feels Like a Divorce

  1. I love you SO much Alina! I Remember when my Twinsy got married and my other sister too and I cried for well… a while haha! I had to learn as well that it is a different feeling when you are forced to share your sisters with their Misters. But I also have seen them grow in amazing ways!!! I love you sis and know your pain. I’m here for You.

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  2. What a blessing to have each other. I try to understand how hard this must be for you. But to be honest, I don’t. I don’t have a sister, and my brother and I have never been close. Sometimes this makes me sad because he is the only person who experienced the same things I did in our home growing up. So, I’m a bit jealous. I’m sure this is extremely difficult, but what a blessing to go through this season, as so many of us have never known the closeness the two of you share. Praise God that you have had this blessing in your life and have learned how to love a person so deeply.

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    1. Thank you so much! I love your perspective. I forgot that other siblings don’t share this. You are right! It’s a blessing. This time that I have with her I’m cherishing. It time that once she’s married I won’t get back.

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  3. You have a very good, realistic attitude about this. You could pretend that nothing will change or that the changes don’t bother you, but that would not be being honest with God or yourself. He does understand and he will help you through the adjustments. God bless you as you walk with Him and find new ways to relate to your sister and her husband. No matter what, you will always have a special relationship with your sister and in that you are so blessed.

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  4. Wow, I can only imagine how hard this must be for you as a twin. My sister recently got married, but she’s so much older than me that it didn’t feel weird at all. I’m sure you two will still enjoy many adventures together!

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